How to Guide a Session

How to Guide a Session

[Excerpted under fair use from a work still in copyright: roughly the first half of the chapter, covering the session room, Kleps's "Ivory" (spiritual) vs. "Horny" (psychological) distinction, his qualifications for a guide, and his "Good Answer / Bad Answer" examples for the questions "Who am I?" and "Are you my father?"]

[Two pages omitted: a further Q&A on "Am I really dying?", Kleps's remarks on abortion agents (tranquilizers) and on guiding experienced psychedelic users, and his closing discussion of Ivory Sessions and enlightenment.]

There are a variety of requirements to assure the success of a guided session, but chief among them is the conspicuous presence in the session room of a copy of Popular Mechanics (in the case of women, a magazine such as Cosmopolitan should be substituted). All statues of people with three or more arms should be removed, as well as all dogs, goats, blackbirds, insects, people who are too bad, people who are too good, anyone in bizarre dress who isn't smiling, anyone wearing a beard* who isn't smiling, and all other trash of similar character. The selection of paintings, photographs, and decorative objects in general is to be left to the victim, but we might encourage representations of Buddah, Ramakrishna in Samadhi, Tim Leary with a flower behind his ear, and so on, while gently discouraging pictures of Jesus Christ on the cross, mob scenes from the Second Bardo, Hell Worlds of Hieronymous Bosch, and so forth.

A safe rule is to make the initial session as pleasant as possible, even at the risk of being insipid. Daytime instead of night if possible: outdoors rather than indoors, if possible. Nothing is gained by trying to blow the victim's brains out with weird music, weird pictures, and weird talk — his own imagination will supply all that is necessary in that department. To force it, or attempt to force it, will merely create resistance, and encourage the victim to believe he is being manipulated — a not at all unreasonable assumption. On later excursions, particularly those intended to accomplish a specific purpose, when the victim has some glimmering of what is at stake, one may take the risk of provoking unpleasant experiences in the interest of economy, but I really think very few such occasions arise. Most of the weird stuff can be best understood as bravado or sado-masochism on the part of the guide.

For convenience, we may divide the psychedelic experience into two basic categories: the Ivory Experience ("spiritual"), and the Horny Experience ("psychological").

People setting out to guide other people through the labyrinthine ways of the personal unconscious really ought to have some kind of experience with non-psychedelic methods, or at least be reasonably well read in the field, for Christ's sake, before taking on this kind of work. There are too many nitwits floating around, copies of Kahlil Gibran and Meyer Baba in hand, who, when confronted by a gaunt moose eating a teddy bear sandwich, or something of the sort in the imagery of the victim, conclude at once they are dealing with a hopeless psychotic, or the lone survivor of the Whiskey Age, and call Bellevue. Professional training is not essential, anyone can read Freud and Norman O. Brown; anyone can keep a dream book; anyone can administer and interpret H-T-P, Rorschach and T.A.T. tests to family and friends (an excellent adjunct to seduction, anyway).

I also strongly recommend the early L. Ron Hubbard and Dianetics. In fact, Hubbard's techniques are so good, so mechanical in fact, that I will go so far as to approve their use by even a downright ignoramus if he is clever and business-like about what he is doing.

If mechanical techniques are not used, however, it is essential that the guide be of very superior intelligence, very well read and experienced in the ways of the world. The gods themselves are helpless before stupidity. I would personally draw the line between the sheep and the goats somewhere in the vicinity of the 95th percentile in verbal intelligence as measured by a reliable individual test or the Miller Analogies, so far as the selection of guides for Horny Sessions is concerned. Thirty is a good age to start on a full-time career with organizational sanction and whatnot, with exceptional exceptions, of course, and really, we ought to develop some sort of book list as well.

I am not in favor of hypnotism under any circumstances. The hypnotic state is the psychotic state. This condition often involves expanded consciousness, but it is half-assed and the ego is shot. The ego has been stolen. We must not be a party to such rapes. The ego does not exist in order to be destroyed, as some fools imagine, but to be properly used. So my advice to anyone setting out to guide Horny Sessions is very simple: become a psychologist first.

This is not to deny that some people "handle" a victim who is flying very high and blind better than others. What do you do in regard to bad behavior? How do you respond to odd talk, and particularly, how do you answer odd questions? The best rule is to do and say as little as possible, but most importantly, one should at all times put the best construction on everything. If the victim asks you a question, for God's sake, try to answer the question instead of "treating" the questioner. Here are some do's and don'ts:

Question: "Who am I?"

Good Answer: "You are my next door neighbor, Mrs. Klotch. But I guess you are going through a period where you won't pay much attention to that and will see things from a more universal point of view, so to speak. It happens all the time. Nothing to worry about." (This is a good answer only if the victim actually is Mrs. Klotch. If Vice-President Humphrey was the victim, it would not be a good answer.)

Bad Answer: "Ah, that is the question. What meaneth these cards of identity? We are all One, are we not?"

Bad Answer: "You are not your body."

Bad Answer: "There is a Self beyond the self."

Bad Answer: "Be still, and know that I am God."

Bad Answer: "The whole Universe trembles as you ask that question."

Bad Answer: "Try not to think about it."

Bad Answer: "Hey! Look at that beautiful drop of snot on baby's nose!"

The last two undesirable answers may require some explanation. The intentions, conscious and unconscious, of the guide are good, but his assumptions are wrong. As long as there are complaints about or fears of loss of ego the ego is not lost, nor is it diminished in any simple way. You are not, in this situation, dealing with a six year old child, who can easily be put off or led down the garden path. The ego at bay is a mobilized ego, alert to all danger, suspicious of your every move and word. Always assume that the victim can "see right through you," no matter how bizarre his behavior. Be honest. If you honestly think distraction is called for, then say so. For example, "Well, if questions like that are bothering you, why not look at some of these pictures instead?" Don't pretend a sudden interest in something you are not really interested in at all. As for saying, "Try not to think about it" or something of the sort, well, try not to think of a purple cow yourself and see how much luck you have. Also, by not explaining why you feel the victim shouldn't think about it, you will probably encourage the victim to believe all of his fears are justified: if he does think about it he is a goner for sure.

Question: "Are you my father?"

Good Answer: "No, actually. I'm Mr. Klotch from next door, but I guess you must be seeing things from the point of view of a little kid or something. If you want to go through some childhood scenes, I'll try to play along as best I can. Do I actually look like your father? (wait for answer) This LSD stuff is pretty fantastic, isn't it?"

Bad Answer: "Yes." (Unless you are, of course)

Bad Answer: "No." (There is such a thing as being too Hal about all this. It is unnatural and therefore frightening, to answer a fantastic question as if it were commonplace. This is where the Rogerian method of ordinary psychotherapy falls down. Do not manipulate!)

Bad Answer: "Why do you ask that question?" (This sort of answer is evasive and suggestive of the sinister.)

Bad Answer: "How do you feel about your father?" (O.K. if the contract is for psychotherapy.)

Bad Answer: "How old are you?" (O.K. if the contract is for psychotherapy.)

Bad Answer: "Behold. I am thy father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, son, indeed, I am all things and all things are ME!!!!!" (This may be true, but there is no reason to get swellheaded about it.)

[* Kleps's own footnote: "This was written back in '36, when beards were a sure sign of impending barratry."]